Last week while at my moms, Tanner and I were in the pool splashing around, swimming (or in Tanners case; kick kick kicking) jumping off the ladder and laughing as loud as we could. So naturally I ask my mom to grab the phone and take some photos. I happen to be very particular about my photos. I like them far away where there is a pretty background where as my mom likes to take them up close and personal. LOL. Most of the time when she takes our photos it usually goes like this “Tanner smile, look at Nana and say cheese, beautiful, oh so pretty, wait crap what did I just do”, followed by an “oh Jen I dont know what just happened, I hope I got a good one”. (Haha love you mom) I always say “I’m sure there’s one good one in there” and most of the time they’re all good. However these particular photos she took were super close and immediately I said (about the ones with me in it) “ugh I dont really like these” and of course my mom said “oh Jenna I think they’re beautiful”.
When I first looked at this photo, this is what I saw: my hair is slicked back from being wet and therefore looks gross and makes my head look ginormous, my nose looks huge, my boob looks huge, and you can see the fat I’m trying to hide by wearing a one piece.
YOU may not see all of these things, and I appreciate that and I’m thankful for all of the compliments I’ve gotten on prior photos where I’m in a bathing suit, but unfortunately I don’t see what you see. And I’m tired of belittling my self because of what others might say on social media. I dont have the perfect body, I dont eat perfectly healthy, or exercise like I should and yes that’s on me but I’m a mom with 2 kids under 2 and dont always have the time or energy to do such things. But I know that I am beautiful, mom bod and all.
A friend of mine who is also a mom posted a photo of her and her family on the beach and her caption was “I know I’m fat but….” and the 1st thing I thought of was “omg girl you’re crazy” ( if you’re reading this; I think you’re absolutely beautiful and that photo was frame worthy). Someone commented on that photo “body shaming is so 90’s, let’s leave it there” and I thought that was the most amazing thing I have read in a very long time.
After reading that comment, I went back and looked at the photo of me and Tanner again. I failed to see the bigger picture while looking at it for the 1st time:
What I didn’t realize is how my hair is wet because Tanner just told me while laughing “more, more” to go under the water again, my boob looks huge because it was probably time to nurse Hunter, and the fat that I’m trying to hide is the weight from carrying a baby for 40 weeks that I have yet to fully lose. I realized how amazing this photo actually was. (So thanks mom, you were right) This picture was taken of me and my babygirl while playing in the pool, splashing, jumping, laughing and making the most amazing memories. Memories that I’ll probably never forget; laughs that bring tears to my eyes, goosebumps all over my body but not caring because all she wanted to do was jump one more time, Tanner may not have an exact smile in that one photo but this one she does:
And its clear at day; she was having the time of her life in that pool with her mama; no matter how I looked. My mom was right when she said they were great photos. She saw right away what I couldnt; My mom saw her beautiful daughter with her beautiful granddaughter enjoying some quality time together laughing and making memories.
The reason I’m sharing this is because we as moms, we as females in general are our own worst critics. I’m letting go of body shaming my self and caring what people on social media will think or say, I’m going to leave the body shaming in the 90s where they belong. #byefelicia ✌🏼
Love your self and be kind to your self, that is one of the best lessons we can teach our children. ♡
As always thanks for reading ♡