Baby #2

Tanner is going to be a big sister!

Baby Memon #2 will be arriving beginning of June!!

I found out I was pregnant on October 5th, and when I did, that night I jotted down how I was feeling. Take a look:

October 5th

The night before I took a pregnancy test with Tanner I just knew I was pregnant. I just had a feeling. I don’t know how to explain it but I just did, and when I took the test that morning I knew it would say positive. With in the last week, I’ve been having that feeling again. I’ve been breaking out a little here and there (and where I don’t normally break out.), Denali has been acting crazy over protective and even last night while Faheem and I were watching TV I was resting my hands at the top of my belly as if I had this huge baby bump. Since I exclusively breastfed, I had never gotten my period back. The last time I had it was January of 2016 (Sorry ladies lol). I was on the mini-pill but I’m awful with pills and know they’re not 100% effective so just in case, I’ve been taking pregnancy tests every so often just to check. Since I’ve been having these feelings, this morning I decided to take a test and when I saw the actual wording say “PREGNANT” I panicked. I’m pretty sure I had a nervous break down/panic attack. I cried and cried. Its not that I don’t want another baby, its that I don’t know how ready I am (well then why did I stop the pill?, we didn’t know it would happen as fast as it actually did). I think I could have been OK with just Tanner! How am I going to love another child, how am I going to get through this pregnancy with Tanner being so dependent of me. How am I going to take care of two children under 2! Luckily Tanner will be just shy of 2 years, and hopefully a little bit more independent, but still. How the heck am I going to do this. Right now I’m freaking out, I’m not as excited as I was when I found out with Tanner. I know these feelings will eventually change, but for now I’ll have to take it day by day. 

Fast forward 3 months later, I’m definitely more excited than I was, but still extremely nervous. I think now I know that once the baby is born, my heart will explode and I won’t be able to explain the love that I have for both my children. There are still times that I’ll be with Tanner and I’ll get teary eyed thinking its not just going to be the 2 of us anymore. I get nervous of how she’ll react when the baby is here. The thought of us taking care of two kids is nerve racking also, but I know that this is something we’ll get the hang of as we go.

I’ll be 20 weeks on Saturday. I had a very hard 1st trimester with all the nausea and exhaustion. I lost about 10 lbs and finally just gained some back. Same thing happened when I was pregnant with Tanner except then, I was actually vomiting, where this time I didn’t. I just started showing after popping over night last week! I finally felt some movement the other night! I don’t think it was actual kicking but I definitely felt the baby moving around! I forgot what that felt like and I loved every second of it!!! I don’t have any inclination on the gender and actually can’t wait to find out, which will be very soon! So stay tuned!

As always, thanks for reading along! ♥